The sky is falling

Monday, September 22, 2008

I would like to thank Jena from Every Moment Matters for the Brilliant Weblog Award! I appreciate your recognition!

Spent part of the day watching the doom and gloom of the economy on tv. Oil spiked more than $25 today to $130 barrel but settled at $120 a barrel, up $15. Now crude oil has jumped nearly $40 a barrel in just the last 4 days. The dow jones dropped 372 points to close at 11,015.

I did feel a bit better today compared to yesterday. Watched “Verminators” on the discovery channel. Enjoyed my 100% Columbia coffee and went outside with the Chow. Gabby took the day off to work on the farm and then him, Willis and I installed the remaining garage door. This time it “only” took us 3 hours to install the left door, compared to the 5 hours it took to install the right door. I guess we learned from our mistakes. Again, our job was to mostly watch Willis work and help him find the tools he needed. “Two and a Half Men” was great tonight. Charlie ran into a women he used to date 9 years ago and she had an 8 year old son that looked and acted just like Charlie with her. It is later revealed that the woman is only the babysitter, the boy is not hers so Charlie is not the dad. Oh, and Jake flooded the toilet! On “Big Bang Theory” Penny confided to Shelton that she doesn’t feel smart enough to date Leonard. I’ve been using baking soda to whiten my teeth and decided to make a paste with hydrogen peroxide. It worked really well but it burned.

Mama put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them any more, That cold black cloud is comin' down, Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Tomorrow the housekeeper is coming and I have an appointment with the psychologist. I don’t have anything against my counselor, I actually like her a lot, but I still don’t think it helps much. I’m just not sure how well therapy will work overall and especially now since there isn’t as much to discuss because I don’t have a job. Therapy works wonders for some people but I’m just skeptical that it will help me. I can’t change how I think. How I think is who I am. Also, I just know what the future holds. In a single word, that would be “misery.” Medicine and therapy can’t change that I am a pessimistic person, that I’m lonely, it won’t bring mom back, it won’t change the fact that I’ll lose my dad someday too, and that my future probably holds 45 years of working a job a hate. Is that being pessimistic? Perhaps but it is also being a realist. It is a lot like what Robert E. Howard said, I kind of view life as just drudgery. Could all that change if I made that successful human contact that is still lacking? It is possible but there is more than that to who I am and how I live.