All is vanity and chasing after the wind

Saturday, September 13, 2008

More rain today and it appears the remnants of hurricane Ike will hit us tomorrow. Amber asked if I would like to meet up tonight but, being the loser than I am, I declined by saying I was too tired. I was really tired but I also sabotage myself. Not only do I have low self-esteem, but that causes me to think something is wrong as well with others if they take an interest in me. Tried to contact her later tonight but she never responded.

Went out and saw the dogs. Also, had one of the cigars that Jim sent and it was to die for! Fantastic! It reminded me how I became so addicted to cigars a couple years ago. I have to be really carefl to ensure I don’t get hooked again. Gabby worked until noon today, then went to an open house for a 95 year old farm neighbor, then went to a fish fry at Jeremy and Gala’s house. At least he is keeping busy, he sad he was looking forward to getting out.

Walked on the treadmill and watched #1 USC hammer #5 Ohio St. Chris sent a text message saying how hot Erin Andrews is. Enjoyed a video review of “Home Improvement” for the SNES from the Irate Gamer on youtube.com.

I’m “threatened by shadows at night and exposed in the light.” I fear that the darkness is creeping back in. Darkness always overcomes light. When I look forward to my future, I see the darkness. I only see light flickering faintly when I look to my past. As each day goes by, I move farther from that light in my past and closer to the darkness. To be healthy, we need to live in the here and now but instead, I live in and yearn for the past. Almost anyone will tell you, like the song, as a child, I did “shine like a crazy diamond.” I had stars in my eyes and I was full of promise. And I had a lot of things going for me, such a great loving family, a home, protection, a good education. It was all promise. Unfortunately, promises are sometimes broken.

State capitalism has come to America. Earlier this week, the federal government seized both home mortgage giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. The argument from all political sides is these institutions are “too large to let them fail.” While this is true, it is amazing, even hypocritical, that Republicans support the government seizure so much. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that these institutions needed to be taken over but imagine the uproar that would have come from conservatives if this occurred under a democratic presidential administration. True conservatives and libertarians would let the market sort this out without any government intervention. What happens if the major airline companies or large commercial banks go bankrupt? Will the government step in again? It sure will. The government provided a bailout to the airlines after 9/11 and the FDIC guarantees some private money when banks fail. My problem with all this intervention is that it is state sponsored capitalism. If large private companies fail, the taxpayers will bail them out, but when large companies are successful, their CEO’s and board of directors rake in billions of dollars. There is no risk, no market correction, no efficiency for large corporations anymore. However, if you are a small business owner, or self employed and you can’t make ends meet, sorry, you’re on your own. Welcome to the corporate welfare state, guaranteeing a safety net for corporate elites.