Happy Birthday

Friday, October 17, 2008

Finished my “Night Falls Fast” book. I did enjoy it, it was good but not great. To my surprise, dad said he called and ordered DirectTV and they will be installing the satellite dishes Saturday morning. I don’t mind, I was very content with our cable service and I already watch too much TV. I’ll probably love the DVR more than the additional channels. I guess I’m…reluctantly, heading into the future. I waited until 2006 to finally get a DVD player and my favorite computer is over 6 years old now. That is ancient in computer time. What can I say, I’m “old school.”

Went to Springfield with Gabby tonight. I drove the Blazer since it was raining. We hit Wal-Mart, Burger King and County Market. Watched “The McLaughlin Group” in which both John McLaughlin and Pat Buchanan discussed the likelihood that liberal democrats with control the House, Senate and Presidency and have more power to pursue a liberal agenda than ever before. Both Pat and John believe with no check on their power, a liberal agenda could lead to a severe backlash by the public.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Happy Birthday to me. I have completed another year of failure. Hooray. I did not get a single birthday wish from any of my friends (only relatives remembered). Not a single friend or former coworker, many of which I became very close to, remembered. Geez. I miss you mom. My sister came home and together with dad, we ate at Ruby Tuesday’s and then saw the movie “Sex Drive.” The movie was actually quite good. Aunt Debbie called and wished me well and then I talked to Nesby for about 10 minutes on the phone. I tease him that he must be able ready to get married and he claimed he is not even close to being ready. Nesby brought up the the age of 27 is the age that all the rock stars, Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain, Morrison, died. Ironic.

The guy from Direct TV told Gabby he would be here between 8am and Noon to install the satellite dish. Then he called at 1pm and said he would be here at 2pm. He finally arrived at 5:15pm! There is an entire Seinfeld episode dedicated to the Kramer running from the cable man since he lied about when he would arrive. I love that show. We showed the DirectTV guy where all the TV’s were and left to see the movie. To our astonishment, when we got home at 10pm, he was still here working on the dish and receivers! When he finally got it all setup, he couldn’t leave because our cable internet wasn’t working. Finally, he found a wire he had disconnected. He left at about 11pm! Everything seems to be working now.

I’ve gotten some feedback on my essay about the meaning of life from the people at allexperts.com. One of the experts (Neil) wrote the following response: “Nice essay. Basically, [you] have existential depression (there are thousands of articles for this form of depression that you can read on google). Existential depression is, for the most part, associated with the gifted. This is a hard depression to overcome because it is so difficult to change the way you think. I would do some research on existential- nihilism or just nihilism (I think that might be your philosophy). Unfortunately, you should know that existential depression is associated with suicide. You need to be able to differentiate the theoretical from the practical, and never let these two worlds overlap. You can be an existential-nihilist in theory, but in practice (when you live your life), be [an] empiricist, be a religious person, be something that's fun for you. I recommend that you change your lifestyle. Add some positive aspects to your life: exercise (releases the hormone serotonin which makes you feel good), listen to happier and more upbeat music?, and spend more time outside with friends and less time alone.” Of course Neil is exactly right, about me having existential depression and how to live a happier life. If it were only easier to make those necessary changes that lead to improvment.

Here is my essay:

The Individual Perspective on Life

Theories about the way one views his or her life have been developed before and will be again in the future. However, these theories all contain the same flaw, they are way too complicated. The perspective or meaning of life is such a fundamental question for us but scholars have been unable to define, understand and express this fundamental question throughout history. The individual perspective on life, or the search for meaning in one’s life, is actually easy to explain because everyone, from young children to adults, and those with high I.Q.’s to those with mental handicaps, experience this fundamental question. The individual perspective on life can be mapped out similarly to a bell curve. The peak point (which will referred to as the “peak moment”) on this bell curve defines how one views his or her life. This “peak moment” shapes one’s worldview. Everyone has a specific “peak moment” which defines his or her life however, this “peak moment” can change during the course of one’s life. Understanding this “peak moment” is a key to understanding yourself and how you view the world.

The meaning of one’s life can be mapped out similarly to a bell curve. The “peak moment” of one’s life on this bell curve defines the meaning of one’s life and how he or she perceives the world. The key to understanding one’s life and his or her perspective on life, is to determine “peak moment” of one’s life. Everyone’s life will be a string of ups and downs, including some major high points and some major low points, but the “peak moment” must be separated from all other life experiences to understand an individual’s overall perspective on life.

The “peak moment” can be an extreme high point for someone, such as marriage, getting the perfect job or becoming wealthy. However, the “peak moment” could be an extreme low point instead, such as the death of a loved one, a divorce, or losing all financial security. Once the “peak moment” is determined, it can be isolated and used to better understand how someone views life overall.

If the “peak moment” for someone is an extreme high point, he or she will view their overall life in a positive light and have a positive perspective of the world. In this way, if one’s “peak moment” is the high point when wealth or financial security was obtained, then while it remains that money cannot buy happiness, in this case it does causes happiness.

If one’s “peak moment” is an extreme low point, it will cloud and overshadow everything else in his or her life. This does not mean someone with a negative “peak moment” cannot ever have periods of happiness or experience joy but it does mean his or her overall life perspective will be negative. At the same time, if one’s “peak moment” is a positive event, he or she will still experience the trials and tribulations of life but the “peak moment” that defines his or her life in a positive light will carry the person through and help the person overcome the negative events in life. For example, I am 27 years old and as of now, my “peak moment” was the negative event of my mother passing away 2 years ago. That event shapes my entire world and gives me an overall gloomy perspective on life. I still experience joy and am happy at times but those moments are outnumbered and overshadowed by my current negative world perspective. The easy part is that I now know what I need to do to improve my life and gain a more positive outlook on life. What I need to do is accept, deal with, and overcome the death of my mother. Unfortunately, the hard part is implementing and executing the plan. To this day, I have not been about to get past this negative experience so it acts as a constant weight on my shoulders every day. Good and bad things happen everyday but nothing else really matters that much because my mother is gone forever.

Someone else with a positive “peak moment” (such as marrying the love of their life) would be able to eventually overcome and accept the death of a close loved one because as painful as the loss would be, it would not define his or her life. Instead, the comfort and knowledge of this person’s marriage would outshine and help overcome this dark period. Even if this “peak moment” (marrying the love of one’s life) occurred when the person was 20 years old, and his or her spouse dies later on in life, this person would carry on with a positive perspective on life since the marriage and time together would outshine the passing of his or her spouse. Thus, for this individual, it will have been better to have loved and lost rather than to have never loved at all because the love outweighs the loss.

So, this “peak moment” is much like an ideology or lens through which one sees the entire world. Much like a religious person sees the world through his or her faith or a Marxist views the world and all of history as a battle of class struggle, we view the world through our “peak moment.” By the way, all people, religious, Marxist, Conservative, Liberal, have a “peak moment” that defines their individual life perspective and it is more powerful than any other individual ideology.

One’s “peak moment” can change over time but these changes are few because we rarely have events that are so monumental that they change our entire life perspective. For example, my life now and for the next several years could be defined by a negative life perspective because of my negative “peak moment” (death of my mother). But there is a possibility that I could experience a new, life changing experience (such as falling in love with the perfect person) in the future that allows me to overcome this painful loss and view life from a new, positive perspective. It is also possible that something could occur in the future that is so negative (loss of another loved one, loss of job, severe injury, etc) that it overrides the death of my mother. This new negative “peak moment” would not change my life perspective from seeing everything through a negative lens but the new lens, or defining moment of my life, would change from the loss of my mother to the new “peak moment.”

The reason it is so important to define one’s peak moment is because if one does not accurately define his or her “peak moment,” he or she will never be able to make the necessary adjustments to change his or her perspective on life. For example, say the “peak moment” of a person’s life was when he or she lost the teaching job he or she loved doing at the age of 30. This would be the defining moment of this person’s life and this person may turn to drugs, alcohol and romantic relationships over the next several years to try to drown out the negative “peak moment.” If and when this person reaches the conclusion that he or she needs to make a significant change in his or her life, to change his or her negative perspective on life, this person might decide to stop using drugs, alcohol or to break up with his or her romantic partner. While any of these actions might be good or bad (such as giving up alcohol would probably result in positive consequences), they will not change the person’s overall negative perspective on life. This person would only be treating the symptoms or possibly unrelated issues of his or her negative life perspective. The only way to fully change one’s perspective on life is to define and overcome the true negative “peak moment” in his or her life. However, no one said this would be easy.

In conclusion, to fully understand one's life and world perspective, we must first define the “peak moment” of this person’s life. This “peak moment” will allow us to understand how the person views everything else in his or her life. “Peak moments” can come from a very positive experience or a very negative experience. Also, the “peak moment” that defines someone can change throughout his or her life. To change one’s life, he or she must define, change and overcome his or her “peak moment” to obtain a new perspective on life.