I would prefer not to

Monday, September 29, 2008
Dad took the day off and we went to Springfield. Hit Lowe’s to get driveway sealer and it cost over $350! Then we got house paint from Sears. Also, saw Chris, my former co-worker when dad stopped at Taco Bell but thankfully, Chris did not see me. At Sears, they could not get the paint mixer to work so we were stuck in there for an hour and a half while they worked on it. “Big Bang Theory” was about Leonard dating a new girl and on “Two and a Half Men” Charlie kicked Allen out of the house because Allen kept asking for the $38 that he loaned to Charlie. Neither show was very good.

Two years ago today my sister and I saw Roger Waters live in concert at Tinley Park. It was easily the best concert I ever attended. He has been my favorite artist since dad turned me onto Pink Floyd and I spent my life assuming I would never see him live. But I was wrong! As brilliant as the concert was, and it was great – Roger played the entire Dark Side of the Moon album during the 2nd half of the concert, it was still overshadowed by mom’s recent death earlier that month. I couldn’t even completely enjoy this concert that I always dreamed of seeing but never thought I would have the opportunity to see.

The Dow Jones dropped 777 points today as Washington insiders were surprised that the House of Representatives voted down the $700 billion bailout plan. The vote was 228-205. About 2/3 of Republicans and 1/3 of Democrats voted against the bill. The economy is in shambles and now political leaders are scrambling to come up with a new bill to rescue the economy.

Lunatic fringe, I know you're out there, You're in hiding, And you hold your meetings, We can hear you coming, We know what you're after, We're wise to you this time, We won't let you kill the laughter. Lunatic fringe, In the twilight's last gleaming, This is open season, But you won't get too far, We know you've got to blame someone, For your own confusion, But we're on guard this time, Against your final solution.

I came across Herman Melville’s great story “Bartleby the Scrivener.” I think I am the main character, Bartleby. Bartleby is a copier/proofreader for a lawyer but when asked by his boss to do work, Bartleby responds, “I would prefer not to.” Wouldn’t you love to tell your boss that? Bartleby is either insane, depressed, or finds life so meaningless that he refuses to do anything. The reader is left to interpret why Bartleby is this way. He continues to avoid work by always responding, “I would prefer not to.” He never leaves or enters the office, he just has snacks delivered. He literally does nothing! After he is fired he just sits in the lawyer’s office and refuses to leave. Later he is arrested for refusing to leave and is put in jail. While in jail, Bartleby refuses to eat, stating, “I prefer not to eat.” This causes him to die. At the end, the narrator learns Bartleby once worked at the Dead Letter office, and was fired after the administration changed hands. The Lawyer wonders whether it was this job, sad and depressing as it is, that drove Bartleby to his strange madness. I love this story. Bartleby refuses to do anything, even eat! At one point, he only sits in a chair and stares at the window (just like the character “Pink Floyd” in the movie “The Wall”). How brilliant is that? That is how I feel, like there is no point to trying anymore. I’m not living anymore, just surviving. I hope I become that lunatic that has no care in the world.